it's not what you've lost (it's what you find)
by lost-n-stereo
Summary: Puck is stationed overseas and Rachel is a performer in a USO show. Future AU, some canon elements up to current season. Rated T for language.


Quinn dumps his ass three weeks into his tech school training in Texas.

He should have seen it coming. Quinn is needy and he's an asshole and he's surprised it managed to last as long as it did. She tells him that she's sorry, that she didn't realize it'd be this hard. That's fucking bullshit and he tells her that in no uncertain terms. She's a coward, afraid to love him and afraid to wait for him. He doesn't miss her.

The only thing he misses is the possibility of finally being in love with someone.

* * *

His job sucks.

Well, that's not entirely true. It's not his job that sucks, it's all of the training that goes into his job. He definitely doesn't want to stay in the Air Force forever so when he enlisted he asked what kinds of jobs would be available for him after he served his term. The recruiter asked him what he was into and he figured honesty would be the best policy when it came to the government.

"Whatever job that'll let me kick ass."

His recruiter had grinned and passed him a pamphlet on the Security Forces . It only took two minutes for him to nod and sign on the figurative dotted line.

* * *

After almost nine weeks of basic training, he's now 33 days into his four month long tech school training in San Antonio. Security Forces Training is no fucking joke and he works his ass off the majority of the time. But he fucking loves Texas. There isn't a lot of free time, and he hardly ever gets to go off base but the people are chill and the weather is awesome. He shares his dorm room with a kid named Steven Rico from North Carolina. Rico's cool enough, tall and lanky with a weird sense of humor that reminds him a lot of Finn. They hang out a lot in their downtime, usually at the firing range but if they both have a night off they hit up the pool hall that's on base. They are both underage but they aren't allowed to drink anyways so it's not like that matters. It's just cool to have a friend he can count on in a place filled with people he doesn't know.

It's been only a week since Quinn called him and told him that she "Just can't do this anymore, Puck." It fucking stings when he stares at the picture they all took their last time in the choir room. Quinn is sitting on his lap, her lips touching the skin of his neck where his uniform collar left it bare. He smiles though when he looks at the rest of his friends, because that's what they all are: friends. Artie and Sam, Jake, Tina, Blaine.

Rachel.

It kind of pisses him off that they barely said two words to each other the entire time he was home. He gets it though, he guesses, because Finn is still right there fresh in everyone's minds. Maybe it's too much for her, being around people that knew him as well as she did. It still bugs him though.

He can probably also blame Quinn a little bit for him not really seeing anyone else that weekend. They were so wrapped up in each other, trying to force love where it shouldn't be, and he knew better. He fucking knew better than to believe her when she said "I think I love you, Puck." because if she was serious she wouldn't have needed to add the _think_, and why is he so desperate for love that he bought it?

Why can't he just get what he wants for once in his life?

She broke up with him over the phone the night before he started his special weapons training. Maybe it was the best thing for him because his rage (heartbreak) turned to motivation and when he hit every target the next day his commanding officer nodded at him and told him to, "Keep up the good work, Airman." It should have been comforting, knowing that he could turn his issues into something positive but really it just pissed him off even more.

It's been a week and he's still bitter. Now more than ever he wishes he could just grab a bottle of something strong and get annihilated until he can't see straight.

It's too bad the United States Air Force won't let him do that.

* * *

His mom cries when he graduates.

He didn't even want her to come, not because he didn't want her there, but because plane tickets to Texas aren't cheap. She called him an idiot and told him that Moses himself couldn't keep her away. The woman is crazy but he loves her. She has to fly out the next morning so she doesn't miss work so they go to dinner and he drops her off at her hotel afterwards.

"I'm so proud of you, Noah." Her eyes are glistening with the tears that are threatening to fall. "Finn would be proud too."

He pulls her into a hug and kisses the top of her head. "Thanks, Ma."

Her words echo in his head for the rest of the night. Through rounds of shots at a dive bar in town. Through a blonde's tongue in his mouth up against a dirty bathroom wall. None of it really matters if he can't share it with someone. He can't share it with Quinn, he can't share it with his best friend.

Damn him for just wanting to someone to share it with.

* * *

He and Rico both end up stationed in Florida.

They are stoked because they work in the same field and the chances of ending up on a good base with a friend are slim to none. His first assignment is security detail and it's not the greatest job he's ever had but the pay is pretty good and he keeps his bills low so he can save up as much money as possible. He does splurge on a brand new truck, something he has been needing for awhile and when he writes a check for the down payment out of his brand new checkbook it's the first time he feels like a real adult. The truck is slick, black with big tires, and the ladies love it.

It's not like he has time for a relationship, he works twelve hour days and when he does have time off he's fucking exhausted. Some days he's glad Quinn broke up with him all those months ago. One night stands have become his stress reliever of choice and he hates to admit that staying faithful after months apart would have been really fucking hard. It's not hard to meet girls, if he goes off base still in his BDUs, because the second they see that camouflage they are all over him. Not that he ever had trouble getting chicks before but the uniform does make it easier on him. He has the perfect excuse to get out afterwards because he starts work at 0600 and he likes his sleep. A few nights like that a month should tide him over until the day he can actually settle down.

Being in the military has showed him just how bad he wants that to happen someday.

* * *

Rico hears about a voluntary deployment to Afghanistan and they decide to go together.

It's not easy, being there, but he knows that he's doing something good for his country and he knows his family is proud of him. His mom sends him care packages and they come in often, once a week and sometimes even more than that. They are filled with baked goods, DVDs, candy and anything else she can think of to send. She also includes a letter in each one, detailing all of the drama and gossip of Lima, Ohio like he gives a shit about anything in that town. He's over it and almost everyone that lives in it.

Two things stick out in this week's letter. One is that Will and Emma are expecting again. He makes sure to note in his letter back to her (shut up, it's his mom) to tell them congratulations for him. The other is that Rachel Berry just signed a record deal.

Huh. Rachel Berry.

That's a name he hasn't thought of in a while. Last he heard she was still on the Broadway kick. He wonders when that changed.

He also wonders if he'll ever see her again.

* * *

Rumors of a USO show start going around a couple months into their deployment.

Puck didn't even know that kind of thing still happened but he's glad that they will all finally get a night off to just have fun. The word going around is that it's in two weeks, with tons of musical artists and comedians signed up to be there. He's playing poker with Rico and a couple of their buddies when one of the older soldiers in their squadron walks up to them.

"Are you guys going to this USO show?" he asks them. All of them nod and the older man grins. "Be prepared because these things can get a little crazy." Rico grins as he shuffles the deck.

"You know us, Banks. We can handle the crazy. Ain't that right, Puckerman?" Puck laughs and nods, gestures for Banks to join the game. He shakes his head and holds up his hands.

"That's alright. I'll leave the losing money to the kids. Have a good night, gentleman." Puck watches as he heads to his bunk on the other side of the barracks and then pulls a notepad and a pencil from his rucksack, no doubt preparing to write his wife back home a letter. Banks tells them stories of his wife and kids all the time. He's career, been in the Air Force twenty years and he's still going strong at almost 40 and he's been married to his wife Lucy just as long. Puck really admires the guy, he doesn't know how he can stand to be away from his wife and family all the time. That's how life is here though. You never know when (or if) you'll get to see your family again so that makes every moment you do spend with them that much greater.

"What's up with you," Rico asks, a cigar hanging from one corner of his mouth. "You look like you're off in your own little world over there." Puck just shrugs and takes a pull off the beer sitting in front of him.

"No man, I'm cool." Rico just raises an eyebrow like he can see right through Puck's shit and he's probably not wrong in that assumption. There have only been two other people in this world that could read Puck like that, Beiste and Finn. "Seriously, it's nothing." Rico rolls his eyes and deals the cards again. Puck ends up with pocket aces and sweeps the hand before telling them all he's going to bed before he loses all his money. Jones, a tall, burly airman from Kentucky, calls him a pussy and Puck laughs as he flips the whole lot of them off.

Puck tries to get comfortable in his bunk but he's up most the night tossing and turning. He doesn't know how long he just lays there, thoughts of his mom, his siblings and just home in general floating around in his mind as he struggles to fall sleep.

* * *

The morning of the USO show is a clusterfuck.

He's been assigned to gate security which entails checking clearance for the line of buses parked outside the base. There are more than 50 MP's on duty, assigned in groups of 4 to search each and every bus that comes in. His group searches five buses top to bottom before they stop for lunch and then another five after. Thankfully the whole day goes off without a hitch. Security is tight on days like today. You can never be too careful in a war zone when civilians are involved.

Rico insists they dress in their blues for the night because "Ladies love that shit and you know it." Puck rolls his eyes but doesn't exactly disagree with the sentiment. He's never had a girl turn him down while wearing his dress uniform. Well, to be fair he's never really had a girl turn him down at all but that's beside the point.

They head out early to get a better spot in front of the giant stage that's set up outside near the center of the base. Rico's taller than him so he looks over the crowd to see where they can fit in. They manage to get pretty close to the stage and by the time it starts getting dark there are hundreds of people behind them. Puck has been to a lot of concerts but this? This is unlike anything he's ever seen.

The first act is a comedian from the states, a weird kid with a bowl cut that's funny but in that _I would have beat this kid up in high school_ kind of way. They watch a few bands, no one super famous, but they are all decent. They only play a few songs each because there are so many different acts performing that night.

The stage is dark for a minute while they set up the equipment for the next act. He's barely paying attention but when he hears a low whistle from the back of the crowd and some cat calling coming from nearby he looks up.

To say he's fucking stunned to see Rachel Berry standing on stage in denim shorts and a flag halter top would be the understatement of the century.

She hasn't seen him yet, even though he's only three rows from the front. Every guy around him is whistling appreciatively as she adjusts her mic (she's always been a tiny little thing) and she grins out at the audience.

"Hello there, soldiers," she says in what he can only describe as a sex kitten tone. The sound of her voice sends a shock straight through his body and when Rico leans towards him and whispers "Holy fuck." it takes everything he has not to deck his closest friend.

"Dude, you don't even know," he says knowingly and Rico raises an eyebrow.

"Wait a damn second. You mean to tell me that you know that fine ass lady up there?" Puck snorts and rolls his eyes.

"Seriously, how many times do I have to tell you to stop talking like that. And yeah. We went to high school together." Rico looks impressed and maybe even a little jealous. The opening notes of "Born in the U.S.A." start pumping through the speakers and he chuckles to himself because of-fucking-course she'd pick a classic rock song to open her set.

She doesn't notice him until halfway through the second verse. Her voice falters for a split second but she's a professional and they are both grinning when she gets it back on track. The entire crowd is singing at the top of their lungs, American pride at its loudest, and when she finishes out the song everyone is clapping and cheering, including himself.

Their eyes meet as she traces her bottom lip with her tongue and _fuck_. She's just as hot as she was two years ago when he saw her last.

She brings the house down with two of her original songs and she rounds out her set with "God Bless the U.S.A.". He looks around to see almost everyone is in tears, including Rachel herself. She never could get through an emotional song without tearing up. He always liked that about her.

There's a split second after she thanks them for their service, waves and leaves the stage that he thinks he'll never see her again. The place is packed and he doesn't know how he's gonna find her in this massive swarm of people. It doesn't really matter though because she ends up finding him.

"Noah Puckerman," she says, a playful grin forming on her lips. "Fancy meeting you here."

"Rachel Berry." He smirks as he checks her out and she blushes, tucks her hair behind her ear. "Nice shirt."

Rico nudges him in the arm and Puck rolls his eyes which makes Rachel let out a little laugh. _Fuck, why is she so hot?_ He points to his friend. "This is Rico." Rico pushes Puck to the side and extends his hand out to Rachel.

"Steven Rico," he says, shooting a pointed look at Puck. "I understand you know my good friend here?" Rachel nods and smiles in Puck's direction.

"I do. Noah and I dated once, many years ago." Rico's eyes go so wide that it makes Puck laugh out loud.

"I don't know which part of that sentence surprises me more, the fact that you dated this dip dunk or the fact that you just called him Noah." Puck punches him in the arm and Rico cowers and holds up his hands. "Alright, alright. I'm done. Have fun you two." He winks at Rachel before patting Puck on the back and heads back into the crowd. Puck shakes his head and calls him an idiot when he faces Rachel again. They don't say anything for a moment, he's still shocked that she's standing in front of him right now and by the look in her eyes, she's feeling the same way.

"Do you wanna go somewhere quiet?"

"Would you like to go somewhere a little quieter?"

They laugh when they speak at the same and Rachel motions for him to come back stage with her. He searches the crowd for Rico and when they see each other Puck winks and points towards the back. Rico makes a few obscene gestures that Rachel thankfully doesn't see and Puck shoots him the bird before following her out of the crowd. She takes him to a tent that's set up behind the stage and her assistant rushes over to bring her a bottle of water. Rachel thanks her and nods in Puck's direction.

"Misty, would you be a doll and bring this handsome solider a beer?" Misty looks him over once in his uniform (he notices Rachel's eyes narrow a bit but he knows he looks good) and nods quickly before disappearing through the tent's entrance. He's not sure what to say so he just takes a seat on one of the fold out chairs that are placed randomly around the tent while Rachel chooses another across from him. They sit in comfortable silence until Misty comes back in with his beer and she wink when he thanks her. Rachel rolls her eyes when the younger girl leaves and Puck chuckles.

"That girl is a major flirt, sorry about that." Puck just laughs.

"Flirting doesn't bother me," he says with a grin. "So, Berry. What's new with you?"

"I'm actually still trying to wrap my head around all of this," she laughs. "Running into you, and here of all places. It's just...it's crazy, right?" She's rambling. It's adorable.

"Yeah, that about sums 'er up," he says before taking a pull from his beer bottle. "So, how's life in New York?" Rachel shrugs.

"I don't live in New York anymore. I moved to Los Angeles almost a year ago." There is a hint of sadness behind the statement and she should know that Puck will call her on it. So he does.

"You don't seem really happy about that." She thinks about it for a second and then shakes her head.

"No, I'm happy in California. I miss New York, of course. I mean it's..."

"New York," they say in unison. She nods and smiles.

"Exactly." She fusses with the label on her water bottle and he wants to reach his hand out to stop her. "How's Quinn?"

"I wouldn't know. We broke up about five minutes after we got back together," he explains bitterly."She couldn't really deal with the long distance thing."

"I'm sorry to hear that," she says sincerely. Puck just nods and takes another long drink from his bottle. The thought of Quinn makes his blood boil. Just when he thinks he's over it something like that happens and he's pissed all over again. Rachel doesn't say anything else, just sits and plays with the water label bottle and this time he shoots out his hand to stop her. She looks up sharply when their hands touch and his eyes shoot down to her lips and then back up again. It's weird, this tension that has always been between them, for as long as he can remember.

"When do you leave?" He knows it's going to be soon. He realizes that he doesn't want it to be.

"Tonight, actually." Damn. Way sooner than even he expected. "I have to be back in L.A. as soon as possible to start the press tour for my new album."

"Look at you, Rachel Berry. All famous and shit," he chuckles. It makes her blush and he had forgotten how much he liked that color on her. He's about to ask her more about her new life when a tall man in a suit pokes his head into the tent.

"Ms. Berry? It's almost time to head back to the airport." She sighs and smiles sadly.

"Thanks Tommy, I'll be right there." She looks back to Puck and shrugs. "I guess I have to leave now."

They stand up at the same time and Puck doesn't even think about it when he pulls Rachel into a hug. She doesn't seem surprised by it at all, just wraps her arms around his waist and doesn't let go until he does. She's halfway out the door of the tent when he calls out her name, forcing her to turn around to look at him.

"You should write me sometime," he says, immediately feeling awkward because who says shit like that? "I mean, if you have some free time in that busy life of yours." She grins as she pulls open her purse, tears a piece of paper off of something inside and hands him a writes the base address on it and she folds it carefully after he hands it back to her and tucks it into a pocket of her purse.

"I'll make the time," she promises. Before he realizes what's happening she rushes back to him, sets one of her palms on one cheek while she kisses the other. "I'll see you around, Noah."

"Yeah," he says, his skin burning hot where her lips just were. "See ya around, Berry."

* * *

The first letter comes a week later.

He's lying on his bunk, snacking on some brownies his mom sent in her last care package, when he hears his name being yelled out during mail time.

"Puckerman! Four for Puckerman!" One of his buddies cracks up as Puck collects his letters.

"You go, Airman Puckerman!" Puck rolls his eyes at his friend.

"I don't know what's sadder, Smith. The fact that you just quoted Mean Girls or the fact that I know that it's from Mean Girls." Smith flips him off and grins.

"Hey! Lindsay Lohan used to be fucking hot! I had a thing for redheads, what can I say?" Puck just shakes his head and laughs as he sits down on his bunk to look through his mail. There's a letter from his mom, Beiste and one from Sam. The last one is from Rachel. He smiles as he slides his finger through the envelope and pulls out the letter, which he notices smells faintly of the perfume she was wearing at the USO show.

_Dear Noah,_

_Does that sound stupid? It's been a long time since I've handwritten a letter and I'm never really sure how to start them. Oh would you look at that, I'm already rambling. _

_Anyways, how are you? We didn't get a chance to catch up as much as I would have liked. That entire day was crazy! Actually, this entire week has been crazy with this press tour. I have interviews every day, photo shoots and CD signings. It's funny that I always wished for this life but I never realized how hard it all is. That makes me sound ungrateful and probably snotty. That's not my intention at all! It's just...sometimes I miss the days in the choir room with you and everyone else. Life was so much simpler back then. _

_I hope you'll get a chance to write me back because I'd love to hear about your life the past couple of years! The last I heard (from Sam) you were stationed down in Florida. I'm not really sure how the whole military thing works, will you have to be overseas much longer? _

_I hate that this is so short but I have to go. I have an interview with Elle Magazine in forty-five minutes and it's all the way across town. Wish me luck because L.A. traffic is the worst! _

_Hope to hear from you soon,_

_Rachel_

He's grinning as he folds the letter and tucks it back into the envelope.

"What's with the smile, Puckerman?" Rico is standing next to his bunk with an eyebrow raised high on his forehead. "You get a letter from Hottie McHotPants?" Puck rolls his eyes but Rico's not exactly wrong. Rachel's stunning, any idiot could see that.

"Yeah, actually I did." He shoves Rico away when he tries to peek at the letter. "Now go the fuck away so I can write her back." Rico holds up his hands up in front of his chest.

"Alright, alright. Keep your pants on, I'm going!" Puck waits until Rico's back at his own bunk before pulling a notebook and pencil out of his rucksack.

_Hey,_

_That's how I start letters but that's just me_.

He taps the tip of his pencil on the paper, unsure of what he should write.

_I was pretty bummed too that we didn't get to talk more the other day. I get it though and I don't know how much this is going to mean to you but I am really fucking proud of you for doing what you always said you were going to do. That takes balls, babe. I'm sure you're killing it in L.A., and that's pretty awesome._

He feels like a fucking idiot. What is he even talking about right now? He needs to get this shit back on track.

_As for me, I'm alright. I'm almost 3 months into my deployment and I have about 5 months left so it's not too bad. I volunteered to be here, which I'm sure some people would think of as insane but it works for me. _

He fills the rest of the letter with, what he considers to be, mundane details about his life over the past two years. The shit with Quinn, his job, stuff that she probably doesn't care about but she asked so he's going to tell her anyways. He writes until dinnertime and by the time he seals the letter it's almost four pages long. He ignores Rico when he starts giving him shit for writing to his "girlfriend" and grabs a stamp off the roll he keeps in his bag. His stomach is growling and the food in the mess isn't the best in the world but the letters from his mom, Coach & Sam will have to wait until after he eats.

* * *

It becomes a thing, writing letters back and forth with Rachel.

She tells him about her life in L.A., how her dads are doing back home, and what their mutual friends are up to. He tells her about his life in Afghanistan, his buddies there and what life was like back in Florida. He jokes in one letter that he does have a laptop and that letters are nice but that it's always better to talk face to face.

And that's how the Skype calls begin.

The first time they talk online he's covered in dirt from a recon mission they did earlier in the day. He's fucking exhausted and doesn't feel like moving, let alone showering, and the mud is still caked onto the knees of his camouflaged pant legs. His laptop is under his mattress where he always keeps it so he slides it out and turns it on and is greeted almost immediately with a chiming sound indicating a new call. He watches her face come into view and he smiles, knowing that he can see her but she can't see him yet. A grin forms on her face when she finally makes eye contact with him and he makes sure his earbuds are in before she starts to talk.

"Hey there," he says with a wink. She blushes a bit and tucks her hair behind her ear.

"Hello, Noah."

It's crazy that he thinks he's missed her voice when he's really only heard it a handful of times in the past couple of years. It must be because the letters, which are always read with her voice in his ear. It scares him to think he might be falling for this girl because of who she is and where he is.

It must take her a minute to really take him in because she's gasping and he rolls his eyes because _dramatic_.

"Noah! Are you okay? You look terrible!" Her eyes go wide as soon as the words are out and she clamps her hand over her mouth. "Oh my goodness, I didn't mean for it to come out like that!" He just laughs and shakes his head.

"Nah, you're probably right. It's been a long fuckin' day." She nods like she understands and he kind of loves her for it. His job isn't something he likes to discuss on the best of days so he's glad she's letting him slide without saying too much. They make small talk until she lets out this adorable giggle and tells him that his eyes keep falling closed.

"I'm gonna be pretty busy for the next couple of weeks because we're heading back to the states on the 20th," he tells her. She looks relieved that he's leaving and frankly he is too. Shit's entirely too fucking real here. "I'll call you soon."

"I'll be here," she says brightly and wiggles her fingertips in a little wave as he signs offline.

It's crazy how those three little words make his night infinitely better.

* * *

He's never been so fucking happy to be back in Florida.

They fly in on Monday and Rico insists on a boy's night out to celebrate them being, ya know, _not dead_. They make plans for Friday night and the only thing Puck has to do before then is pick up his truck keys from his buddy Stevenson, who's been borrowing it since he left.

He Skype calls Rachel his first night home and he grins when her face comes into view. They never got the chance to talk before he left Afghanistan and he had written her a letter before he left letting her know not to write him there, because he wouldn't be around to get any mail. She had written him an email back telling him that she couldn't wait for him to get back onto American soil so she could be sure that he was okay. He really fucking likes that she cares.

Another thing he likes is that she answers his Skype call and doesn't feel the need to ignore it so she can go and do her hair or makeup first. He likes her like this, hair up in a messy bun and a baggy grey sweater hanging off one shoulder. She looks fucking beautiful.

"Hey b...Rach," he says and _fuck. _Did he almost just call her baby? Thankfully she doesn't notice (or at least hides it really well if she does) and she smiles widely into the camera.

"Are you home?" she asks excitedly and he nods before leaning back and motioning around his room. Living in the base dorms sometimes sucks but most of the time it's what he imagines college dorms to be like, except a lot fucking stricter. His room is fucking spotless right now because he's been gone almost eight months and he's glad his shit's not lying all over the place the first time Rachel sees it.

"Yeah, it ain't much but it's home. And free, so that's always a plus," he jokes and she shakes her head as she laughs. "Anything exciting happening in your neck of the woods?"

"Not much," she shrugs and he raises an eyebrow because _really_? This girl is on the verge of being an international pop star and she acts like it's no big deal. "What about you? Any big plans now that you're back in the States?"

"Rico wants to go out this Friday for a guy's night," he tells her. "Dude's kind of an idiot but sometimes he has good ideas." They both laugh but he notices Rachel looks a little more tense that she was before. He wonders what that's about. Before he can ask her phone rings and she holds up a finger and mouths "I'm sorry" as she picks it up.

"Hey Paul. I'm actually right in the middle of something important, can it wait? Seriously? Okay fine, I'll be there in an hour. Alright, bye."

She rolls her eyes as she ends the call and faces the camera again with a frown.

"I'm so sorry, Noah, but I have to go meet my manager, who apparently thinks he owns me," she says in a rush. "Do you think we can do this again soon?"

"Yeah, totally," he says. "I should probably get some sleep anyways. I'll talk to you soon." She smiles and gives him a little wave and then the screen goes black.

He's bummed that the call ends as quickly as it starts but then he realizes that she told her manager she was in the middle of something important and he can't help the stupid grin that crosses his face.

When he's lying in bed hours later, unable to sleep because sometimes the dreams are just as bad as still being there, it's not his fault that he pictures her face in his mind to calm down. It's also not his fault that it makes him hard as a rock and when his hand travels down into his boxers that face is the only thing it takes to get him off.

* * *

He needs to get laid.

Seriously, it's been almost nine months since his last sexual encounter (that wasn't his own fucking hand) and he figures guy's night out is the perfect time to remedy this situation.

His week went by fast, mostly because he slept through most of it. Thursday morning was the first time he actually put on pants and now that it's Friday it's time to get crazy with his boys. He heads down to the barber to get a fresh cut and spends almost a bill at the BX on new jeans and a button down to wear to the bar they are going to. He's not looking for a trashy one night stand tonight. Don't get him wrong, he's looking for a one night stand, but he wants a quality hook up. A woman he can really take his time with.

That's the goal anyways.

He swings by Rico's dorm and picks him up at seven and they cab it off base to a bar downtown they all affectionately refer to as the "Honey Pot" because it's always filled to the brim with gorgeous girls. Five of their buddies greet them when they walk into the door and Puck grins as he hugs them all one by one because these are some of his very best friends in the world and frankly, he didn't even know if he'd ever see them again. There is a table of women staring over at them and a cute brunette catches his eye but he's not going to ditch his buddies for a chick. At least, not yet.

It takes four rounds of tequila shots before he's flipping them all off as he walks towards the brunette that's been eye-fucking him all night.

It only takes twenty minutes before this girl (Michelle, he thinks) has one hand practically palming his junk through his jeans and her lips in his ear telling him to take her home.

So why is he hesitating?

She's fucking gorgeous, long legs and a perfect ass. But her hair is too short, and her lips aren't full and there's something about her laugh that he doesn't like. It's too high and not melodic and sweet like Rachel's is.

Fuck. _Rachel. _

He thinks about her at home in bed, because she told him when they talked yesterday that she was staying in tonight, and he takes a deep breath before standing up. Michelle (if that's even her name) looks up in surprise but is quick to grin and moves to stand up too but he holds his hand out to stop her.

"I think I'm going to head back to my friends. But, it was nice meeting you, Michelle." She huffs and rolls her eyes.

"It's Melissa, asshole!" She glares at him before turning back to her friends and he's just happy he didn't end up with a twelve dollar drink thrown onto his eighty dollar jeans.

Rico is laughing his ass off when he makes it back over to their table.

"Got shot down, huh? Tough luck, mate." Puck rolls his eyes.

"Not _even_ how that just went down," he says but he doesn't offer anything else and Rico is too drunk to dig deeper. He's glad because he doesn't want to admit what's been eating at him for the last few months.

He's totally fucking into Rachel Berry.

* * *

"I need a vacation."

They are Skyping a few weeks later and he's lying back on his bed, his head propped up on his pillows and his laptop balanced on his knees. She's doing the same thing on her end, her hair pushed back away from her face with a pink headband that he spent ten minutes making fun of her for when they first logged on. They aren't really talking about anything important, just killing time until he has to report to work. She just sprung this vacation thing out of nowhere and he can tell it was just something to say to fill a gap in their conversation.

But a vacation doesn't sound half bad. It actually sounds pretty fucking amazing.

"You know, I have leave days saved up," he says, sitting up straighter on his bed. "And Sam was just telling me the other day that I need to come visit him and the rest of the gang in New York..."

She's just staring at him with wide eyes. "Are you serious?"

"Fuck yeah," he laughs. "Are you in?" She grins and nods.

"Yeah, I'm in. Just tell me when."

He promises to talk to his CO in the morning to figure out when he can take leave and for how long. She promises to tell her manager that she needs some time off to relax from her crazy life.

It's the first time in forever he's actually in a good mood going into work.

* * *

He ends up with ten days off for leave.

His CO is more than happy to sign off on it, considering he just finished an eight month deployment. Rico called him a pussy for taking leave just to see Rachel but Puck shut that down quickly, telling his friend that he's just jealous that he's not spending almost two weeks with her. Rico just rolled his eyes and told him to have fun.

Oh, he plans on it.

Rachel keeps an apartment in Manhattan and insists that he stay there with her while he's in town. He's sure as hell not going to argue with that because he has a plan. Call it a ten day plan to make Rachel Berry his girl.

Better yet, make it a one day plan so he can call her his girl and they can just spend the other nine days in her bed.

Okay, so he knows that's not how it's going to go down because he really does want to see their friends and he knows she does too. But he's definitely serious about the making her his girl part.

He doesn't know when he started wanting her so badly. If he's being honest with himself he's never _not_ wanted her. Something (or someone) was just always there between them. He feels insanely guilty when he thinks about Finn but it's been almost three years and really he thinks that Finn would want them all to be happy.

At least that's what he tells himself as he loads his bags into the truck of the cab that's set to take him to the airport.

* * *

Rachel picks him up from JFK on Tuesday afternoon and he almost drops his laptop bag when she runs at him full blast and propels herself into his arms.

"Woah there, crazy girl," he laughs. "Watch the merchandise." She pulls back so she can look up at him and it's almost too much to handle. They aren't a couple, but she's here In his arms, and she smells _so _fucking good, and all he wants to do is kiss her. His eyes drop to her lips and back up to her eyes and his heart does this stupid little flip flop in his chest.

"Sorry, I just got excited," she says, a blush of embarrassment creeping up her neck. It looks good on her. "I just can't believe after months of talking that you're actually here." He looks down at her and tilts his head to the side, a smirk crossing his lips and he sets his laptop case down and pulls her in for a proper hug.

"You never have to apologize for manhandling me," he whispers in her ear and she's blushing even more when they pull away. She licks her lips nervously and tucks her hair behind her ear. He's picked up that it's some sort of nervous habit and he totally digs that he makes her nervous.

"We should get your bags and head to my place," she tells him. _Fuck yes._ "We have dinner plans with everyone at six." _Oh yeah._ He forgot about everyone else he's there to see.

It takes them for_-fucking-_ever to actually get to her apartment and by the time they get there he's so exhausted that she insists on him taking a nap before dinner. She's got a two bedroom apartment but only one bathroom so she tells him that she'll get ready while he's sleeping so he can shower whenever he wakes up. He doesn't expect to sleep very long but he pulls off his shirt anyways and gets under the covers of her spare bed. He wakes up a couple of hours later to a dark room and her lightly poking him in the ribs.

"Noah," she whispers, poking him again gently. "Noah, it's 4:30." He groans and rolls over on his side so he's facing her. It's pitch black and he can only barely make out her silhouette.

"Why is it so fucking dark in here," he asks and she giggles softly.

"Black out curtains. They keep out the sun and the noise. We are in the city that never sleeps." He chuckles and sits up, the sheets pooling around his waist. She inhales sharply and he's about to ask her what the fuck when he realizes it's because he's not wearing a shirt. It only takes a minute for his eyes to adjust to the darkness and he sees that she's not wearing much either. She's got on a short white robe that barely covers the top of her thighs and all he can see is miles and miles of tanned leg. The sound of her clearing her throat shakes him out of his _leg _trance and she stands up quickly and starts heading for the bedroom door.

"The shower is free," she says and she's blushing again. "I'll be in my room getting ready." She's gone before he can even respond and he grins as he lies back on the bed.

His plan is working even better than he hoped it would and he hasn't even really started yet.

* * *

"Noah Puckerman, as I live and breathe."

Puck rolls his eyes as Kurt looks him up and down before letting out a low whistle. Blaine nudges Kurt in the side and grins at Puck.

"Please excuse my husband, Puck. He has no shame."Kurt just lets out a huff and heads towards Rachel's bedroom. Puck laughs and throws his arm around Blaine's shoulder.

"And you get him for the rest of your life so have fun with that," he jokes. Blaine laughs and pats him back on the shoulder before going to join Kurt, who is now standing in the foyer fawning over Rachel's new haircut. He hears the words _bangs _and checks the fuck out of that conversation. Totally not his thing.

They have reservations at a pretty swanky restaurant that he knows they would never even be able to step foot in if it wasn't for Rachel. They are set to meet up with Sam, Santana, Mike, Brittany, Tina and Mercedes when they get there. Almost the entire original glee club, he thinks.

There's one person in particular that's missing and it tears his heart apart from the inside out but he tries to remember that this is supposed to be a fun reunion for them all.

It still sort of shocks him that almost all of them ended up in New York. Back in high school, New York was always Rachel's dream. Then somehow it became Santana and Kurt's and the rest sort of just followed suit. Kurt and Blaine have been married for 3 years, Mike and Tina are engaged and Santana and Brittany are...well Santana and Brittany. Sam and Mercedes tried the dating thing for awhile after moving to NYC but it didn't pan out. Luckily they are still good friends so at least shit won't be awkward as hell at dinner. Artie lives in the area too but had a work thing that week that took him out of town so he promised Puck he'd see him the next time he was in town.

They take a cab to the restaurant, Puck in the front seat and Rachel sitting between Kurt and Blaine in the back. She looks fucking outstanding, something he told her earlier when she stepped out of her room in a short black dress and a pair of black suede pumps. Her hair is curled and down, just like he likes, and her eyes are all smoky and _fuck_. This girl will absolutely be his undoing.

Santana is waiting for them outside of the restaurant when they pull up and she grins widely when Puck steps out first. He pulls her into his arms and she wraps hers around him tightly.

"Glad to see you home safe," she says quietly in his ear and he nods as he kisses her cheek. They have a lot of history and she might like to play like she's a badass (and in almost every way, she is) but she's still a big softie when it comes to her friends. She squeezes him once more and smiles up at him before reaching for Rachel to pull her into a hug.

"Looking good, babe. How's the shittiest city in the country treating ya?" Santana asks and Rachel rolls her eyes.

"It is not the _shittiest _city in the country, will you please stop saying that?" Puck raises an eyebrow because he's not sure he's ever heard Rachel use a single curse word in the entire time he's known her. She looks at his and scoffs. "What? I can swear." He laughs and puts his arm around her shoulders and Santana throws him a look behind Rachel's back. He ignores her and guides Rachel into the restaurant.

"Yeah, I can see that," he says. "And for the record, Orlando is the shittiest city in the country."

Two hours later they are all pretty much drunk, bottles of wine are being passed around and he's glad they are all pitching in on dinner because their alcohol consumption is basically off the charts.

Mike and Tina are discussing their wedding plans with Kurt and Blaine (and when he says Mike and Tina he really means Tina because Mike looks bored out of his mind) while Sam, Santana and Brittany argue over the best nightclubs in NYC. The plan is for all of them to hit one up on Friday night and even though that's three nights away apparently it's something that has to be decided right away. Mercedes is listening in on their argument and she throws her two cents in every once in a while but she seems content to just watch it all play out.

That leaves he and Rachel, who is sitting to his left nursing her fourth glass of Merlot. They are sitting close together, angled in their seats so their knees are practically touching. She's too close and yet not close enough. He's not even sure that makes sense.

"I still can't believe you're here," she says so softly he almost can't hear her. It forces him to lean closer to her and he sure as hell doesn't mind having to do that. He can smell her perfume from here. It's different than what she wore in high school (and yes he remembers that. Hard to forget the smell of her skin when he had her pressed against her mattress but that's beside the point) and it smells more sultry, more adult in the sexiest way possible. She's not the naïve girl he used to know. He fucking loves it.

"I can't believe I made it out of there alive," he jokes and he regrets it immediately. Her eyes darken and he feels like an asshole. "Sorry, that wasn't funny."

She just shakes her head and rests her hand on his on the table. He wants to blame the alcohol on the way it sets his skin on fire but he knows that it's all her.

"I'm glad you're home," she says seriously and he looks down at her lips before licking his own. "After that USO show...I just...I prayed every day that you would make it home safe." He turns their hands so he can brush his thumb across her knuckles.

"Your letters helped a lot," he says and in must be the wine because he hasn't talked about this with anyone, not even Rico and he went through the whole experience with him. "Every day there was really fucking intense." There is more he could say but not here, not now and she seems to understand that because she just nods. He likes that she doesn't push him to talk about it but he's finding more and more that he wants to talk about it. He wants to talk about it with her.

Santana clears her throat and Rachel pulls her hand from his and he shoots Santana a look across the table. She just grins (bitch) and turns to the rest of the table.

"So we've decided we're going to 212 on Friday night. Dress code is nice, like really fucking nice, so leave your sweats at home, Puckerman," she says with a raised eyebrow in his direction and he responds by flipping her off. She laughs and tells them all to be there at eleven sharp, no exceptions.

It takes them exactly 45 minutes to say goodbye to everyone and catch a cab to take them back to her apartment. She's this side of too drunk, stumbling a little on her heels and giggling as they walk to her apartment door. He licks his lips when she puts a hang on his arm to steady herself as she unlocks the door.

She turns around and gives him the sexiest fucking look he's ever seen over her shoulder and he's cursing the too expensive wine that is currently coursing through both of their veins.

He's not going to try to fuck her tonight, not when they are both drunk and he hasn't even kissed her in years. But that doesn't mean he can't put his hand on the small of her back to guide her into the apartment and it's totally not his fault when his thumb brushes lightly across the top of her ass.

When they are finally inside, she holds onto his shoulders as she steps out of her heels and smiles sleepily up at him. She's too close and he's too hard up (or just hard, he can't think clearly right now) and he needs to get to bed before he does something really fucking stupid.

And for the record, he really _really_ wants to do something stupid.

She's kinda just looking at him, her hands still on his shoulders and when he leans down her eyelashes flutter as he kisses her cheek.

"I'm gonna go to bed," he says quietly even though every bone in his body wants to haul her against him so he can kiss her like he's been wanting to do for months.

"Oh, okay," she says and he can hear the hint of surprise there. "Goodnight, Noah."

"Night, Rach."

He's still awake hours later (blame it on the nap or knowing she's sleeping barely ten feet away) when he hears the bathroom door open and close, and then again when a couple of minutes later. There are footsteps in the hall and he can see under the door where she stands, quietly on the other side, and he wonders if she wants him as bad ashe wants her.

He sure hopes so.

* * *

He wakes up before she does despite being awake until well after three in the morning.

The door to her room is open and when he looks in after hitting the bathroom he sees her tiny body curled up in the middle of her huge bed, one hand tucked under her cheek and brown curls splayed over her pillow.

She's so damn beautiful.

He remembers her mentioning a little bakery that she loves down the street from her apartment so he pulls on jeans and a clean shirt before heading out to pick up breakfast.

She's up when he walks back in the apartment, a bag of bagels in one hand and a tray with two coffees in the other, and she jumps up to help him bring it all into the kitchen.

"I was wondering where you went," she says and he shrugs. There's an adorable little smile on her face as she pulls two plates out of one of the cupboards. "Thank you for doing this."

"Wasn't a big deal. Just breakfast," he says and she shakes her head.

"No, I don't mean breakfast. Well, I mean thank you also for breakfast but that wasn't what I was talking about." She's doing that rambling thing again and it's fucking cute. "I meant thank you for coming here and for convincing me to get out of L.A. for awhile."

He doesn't really know what to say to that so he just nods as she sets the plates on the table along with cream cheese, jam and a dish of butter. They make small talk while they eat and Rachel asks him what he feels like doing the rest of the day.

He fights the urge to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind (you) and goes for something safe instead.

"Wanna take a walk?" he asks and her face lights up as she nods. It's not a secret that she misses New York but she has told him on more than once occasion how much she misses walking through Central Park in the afternoons.

An hour later they are walking past the entrance to the zoo and Rachel looks up at him with big, hopeful eyes. He laughs and shakes his head but allows her to pull him by the hand toward the ticket booth. She reaches for her wallet and he rolls his eyes and slaps her hand away. He pulls the required cash out of his wallet and slides the bills under the ticket window and she claps her hands excitedly when he hands her a ticket.

"I love this zoo," she says happily and Puck laughs and lets her guide him around the zoo (he's seen bigger but that's beside the point) showing him her favorite animals and exhibits. They stop in front of the Red Panda exhibit and she starts talking immediately, telling him little known facts about what's obviously her favorite animal in the zoo. It's so damn adorable he can barely even stand it.

She's in the middle of telling him about false thumbs and wrist bones and before he realizes what he's doing he has one hand in her hair and the other on her hip. She squeaks in surprise when his lips touch hers but it's only a second before she's melting into him, her hands gripping his t shirt at his sides.

He keeps it PG since they are in the middle of the fucking zoo and there are kids everywhere so he doesn't deepen the kiss, just keeps her close as he sips at her lips. When she pulls away she just looks up at him, her brow furrowed a little and his first thought is that he's fucked everything up and there are still 8 days left in his trip. She licks her lips and it draws his eyes to her mouth as he waits for her to let him down easy. It feels like an eternity before she finally speaks.

"I have been waiting months for that," she admits so quietly that for a second he's not even sure that she really said it. But she's smiling up at him and his t shirt is still bunched up in her hands so he's thinking that she probably meant it.

"Me too," he says seriously and it was obviously the right thing to say because she smiles shyly and leans up to kiss him softly. He forgot what an amazing kisser she is. Her lips are so fucking soft and the more dramatic side of him thinks that he'll probably die if he never gets to kiss her again.

They are still just standing in front of the Red Pandas and she laughs when he tells her that they are giving them quite the show.

"Would you like to go to dinner with me?" she asks and he raises an eyebrow and grins.

"What, like a date?"

She bites the inside of her lip and nods and seriously, who's going to say no to that?

He sure as hell won't.

She tells him about a little Italian restaurant not too far from her place and suggests that they go back to change before dinner.

They grab a cab back to her apartment and he waits patiently while she closes the door, pushing her gently against it the second he hears it click in place. She laughs and looks up at him.

"What are you doing?" she asks and he just shakes his head at her as he sinks a hand into her brown curls.

"Just shut up for a second," he says and before she can get pissed at him for telling her to shut up he leans down to kiss her. There's no one around but them this time so he deepens the kiss immediately, running his tongue alongside hers until she moans. _Fuck_, she's so good at this.

"Noah, I thought we were going to go to dinner," she manages to get out as he kisses the skin behind her ear. She lets out the sexiest fucking noise he's ever heard and it takes everything in him not to unbutton her jeans and get them both off right here against her door.

"I just wanna kiss you," he whispers in her ear and she gasps a little when he nips at her earlobe. She's got her hands on his shoulders and she's gripping him so tight he thinks he might have bruises there tomorrow.

"Or maybe we can go out to dinner tomorrow night," she says breathlessly and he nods as he kisses the hollow of her throat.

"Now how about we take this somewhere fun," he grins and she giggles when he smacks her ass when she passes him on the way to her bedroom.

* * *

They don't have sex.

Which kinda fucking sucks but he gets it at the same time because this whole thing is still really new (even though they've been talking for months) and neither of them have had the best luck with relationships.

They spent the night fooling around and when he used his hand to get her off he realized that her singing voice doesn't even compare to the sounds she lets out when she comes. Needless to say it didn't take him long to finish after she reached down to return the favor.

He never knew that he could have so much fun _not_ having sex with a woman.

* * *

The rest of the week flies by way too fast and it's Friday before he wants it to be.

Yeah, he's going to have fun with his friends tonight but Friday means one day closer to the day he has to leave and it also means not having Rachel all to himself.

And after the past week that's pretty much the last thing in the world that he wants and she laughs at him when he tells her that.

She's cooking them dinner and he wraps his arms around her from behind and whispers it into her ear.

"Noah we've barely left my bed all week," she laughs and it's true. They have basically done everything but actually having sex and he's not complaining in the slightest because watching her let go is his new favorite past time.

Right now she's wearing one of his Air Force t shirts and the tiniest pair of pajama shorts he's ever seen and does she really expect him to want to go out with all of their friends to some lame ass club instead of rocking her world all night long?

Apparently that's exactly what she expects because all she can talk about through their dinner (homemade vegetarian pizza which is actually pretty fucking delicious) is how excited she is to go to this new club.

He hates Santana for setting this whole thing up until the point he sees the outfit that Rachel is wearing to the club. Now all he really wants to do is kiss her (Rachel not Santana, although he really could kiss San because that dress is out of this fucking world) and she giggles when his fingers dig into her hips when he pulls her to him.

"Jesus Christ, baby. This dress is..." his voice trails off as she does a little spin in front of him. The dress is blood red, tight in all the best places, and the heels on her feet are the kind he'd want her to leave on while he fucked her.

If he doesn't fuck her tonight he think he might die.

There is a line around the block when they get to the club and Puck groans in frustration.

"Of fucking course Santana would pick the busiest club in New York City," he says and Rachel just laughs and shakes her head like she knows something he doesn't. She walks straight to the front of the line and he raises an eyebrow but follows her anyways.

There's a bouncer with a clipboard and Puck wants to crack a joke about how cliché the whole thing is but then Rachel is telling the guy her name and he checks his list before holding the door open for them.

"Look who's famous enough to get into any club," he laughs when they are standing in the line for the coat check. Rachel rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"Santana put our names on the list," she explains. "But maybe someday I'll be able to get us into any club in the city." She says it as a joke but all he heard was _us _and he likes that she's thinking about them in the future.

At least he hopes she is because it's definitely something that's been on his mind lately.

Rachel's phone beeps with a text from Santana telling them that they are in one of the club's VIP areas and to come find them before all the alcohol runs out. Rachel laughs and grabs his hand, intertwines their fingers together, and he knows their nosy ass friends are going to ask what's going on between them.

Sure enough the second they walk up to the table holding hands Santana laughs and claps and Blaine rolls his eyes and pulls a twenty out of his wallet before slapping it into her hand. Puck raises an eyebrow and Rachel blushes.

"What's up with that?" Puck asks as Santana happily folds up the bill and tucks it under her bra strap.

"I bet Blaine that you and Rachel would be together, or at least fucking around, by tonight," she explains. "And judging by the hand holding, I'm guessing you two are now a thing?" Rachel looks up at him with wide eyes like she's not sure what exactly he's going to say.

And what should he say? They haven't even had sex yet but they have spent an awesome week together and he's been wanting her for months now. He thinks it's safe to assume they are more than just friends.

"Yeah," he says with a smirk. "She's my girl. Now can someone please pass me a drink."

He tries to make light of it because he doesn't want to get all mushy and romantic with all of their friends around but Rachel is staring at him like he's just hung the moon in her honor so he leans down and brushes his lips quickly against hers.

"As long as that's alright with you." He leans down to whisper it into her ear and her eyes are bright and shiny as she nods.

"It's more than alright," she says and he grins and winks at her before turning back to his friends.

"Now are we going to party or what?"

* * *

When they stumble through the door at three in the morning Puck knows that there is no way he's going to make it through the whole night without fucking this girl.

They have been all over each other the entire night. Apparently publicly declaring them in a relationship put Rachel's body in overdrive and she hasn't been able to keep her hands off him. Not that he's complaining. Fuck no, he'd never complain about that.

He didn't really want to have sex with her the first time when they were both drunk but he hasn't been laid in way too long and he wants her so fucking bad it hurts.

So when she stands in the doorway of her bedroom and eye fucks the shit out of him from across the room he knows he's in trouble.

And he's going to enjoy every single second of it.

* * *

He wakes up to a face full of brown hair and his hand is resting on her bare hip and it feels fucking incredible.

Then he remembers that it's Wednesday which means it's his last full day with her and he has to be on a plane way too fucking early the next morning.

She's not awake yet so he runs his hand up and down her side a few times and kisses her shoulder then moves her hair to the side so he can kiss her neck.

"Rach," he says quietly and she stirs a little but doesn't open her eyes. "Baby, wake up." She lets out an adorable little moan when he takes her earlobe between his teeth and gives it a tiny tug. He loves that he already knows so many little places on her body that will get her going. They have spent practically every second of the last few nights in her bed and he is committing it all to his memory to get him through the next couple of months without her.

They haven't had the talk yet, about what this all means and where they are going to go from here, but he doesn't think that they need to. He wants her, every part of her, and knows that's not going to change anytime soon.

He's never been the best with words so when he pushes his hand between her legs and whispers in her ear that he wants to see how many times he can get her off before breakfast he hopes she can read through the lines.

Her smile when she turns over and looks up at him lets him know that she can.

* * *

Everything sucks more but also less when he's back in Florida.

It sucks more because he knows he's got this amazing girl that he's slowly but surely falling in love with and all he wants to do is just have her with him all the time. It sucks less because he gets to see her face every night before he goes to bed and even if it's just over a computer screen at least her voice is the last thing he hears before he falls asleep.

He's just worked the worst shift of his life and he's got a stack of mail in his hand that he picked up before heading back to his dorm. He shuffles through the bills and advertisements and his eyes fall on a small envelope with Rachel's handwriting written across it.

He tosses the rest of the mail on his bedside table and carefully opens her letter before sitting down on his bed to read it.

_Dear Noah, _

_I know this might seem strange, writing you a letter when we talk every night, but I figured since writing letters is what brought us together in the first place it couldn't hurt to send something handwritten every now and then. _

_I miss you terribly. And I know I tell you that every day but it doesn't make it any less true. I miss you and I can't wait until the next time I can see you. _

_Speaking of that, I was thinking maybe I could come there and visit you soon. Even if it's just for a long weekend. I'd love to meet your friends and see where you live and work. _

_I know we both have extremely crazy and busy lives but I am willing to do whatever it takes to make this work until we are both in the same place again._

_This is probably extremely corny but I would love to get a letter back from you. I haven't told you this yet but I kept every letter you sent me in a little box under my bed. I read through them when I have a bad day and they instantly make me smile. It wouldn't hurt to have more in there for me to read, right?_

_Talk to you soon, _

_Rachel _

He's grinning when he folds the letter and he reaches under his bed and pulls out the dark green metal lockbox that always sits there. Inside is every letter she's ever sent him and he sets the new one on top and locks the box securely before sliding back under his bed.

Those letters got him through the worst days of his life, something he's not sure he'll ever really be able to explain to her, and when he thinks about her having a shitty day and reaching for one of his letters it makes his heart jump in his chest. He might be hundreds of miles away from her but if a written letter is what his girl wants then that's exactly what he's going to give her.

He pulls a notebook and pen out of his messenger back and starts to write.


End file.
